Hey there this is Rick Taylar! You’re listening to The Weight Loss Mindset Podcast
Do you find yourself reaching for food when you’re stressed, bored, or upset – even when you’re not physically hungry?
If so, you’re not alone.
Emotional eating is an extremely common struggle. But constantly eating to soothe difficult emotions can lead to guilt, shame, and unwanted weight gain over time.
The typical advice for overcoming emotional eating usually involves strict rules and willpower. “Don’t keep junk food in the house.” “Distract yourself when you feel the urge to eat.” “Use discipline to resist cravings.”
Sound familiar?
Here’s the problem: fighting emotional eating with restriction and white-knuckling rarely works long-term. It just leads to a cycle of deprivation and then overeating later.
Relying solely on willpower is exhausting and unsustainable.
So what’s the alternative?
A more effective approach is learning to handle emotions skillfully without using food.
This means building new coping strategies and changing your relationship with uncomfortable feelings.
With practice, you can learn to ride out cravings and feel your feelings without always turning to food.
Notice Your Triggers Without Judgment
The first step is developing awareness of your emotional eating patterns.
When do you most often eat for emotional reasons? Is it when you’re stressed about work? Bored at night? Lonely on the weekends?
Start to notice the thoughts, feelings, and situations that trigger the urge to eat when you’re not hungry.
The key is to observe these triggers without harsh judgment.
Beating yourself up will only make you feel worse and more likely to overeat. Instead, get curious about learning your patterns. Say to yourself, “Isn’t that interesting that I always want to eat when I’m procrastinating on a big work project.
That’s good to know.” Noticing without judgment is the foundation for change.
Allow Difficult Emotions to Be Present
Once you’re more aware of your emotional eating triggers, practice allowing those uncomfortable emotions to simply be present without fighting them.
This is very different than “giving in” to the feelings or acting on urges to eat. It’s about letting the feelings arise, acknowledging them, and giving them space to pass without getting caught up in them.
For example, let’s say you’re feeling anxious and have a strong urge to eat when you’re not hungry.
Instead of acting on that urge immediately, pause and say to yourself, “I notice I’m feeling really anxious right now. My mind is telling me I need to eat to feel better. But I can allow this anxious feeling to be here without acting on it. It’s unpleasant but not dangerous. This feeling will eventually pass.”
With practice, you’ll start to build tolerance for riding out these difficult emotions.
You’ll learn on an experiential level that you are not your feelings and that emotions are temporary. They rise and fall like waves, and you can choose whether to get pulled under or to ride them out.
Build New Coping Strategies
In addition to allowing difficult emotions, it’s also important to have other coping strategies that don’t involve food.
The next time you feel triggered to eat when you’re not hungry, ask yourself, “What do I really need right now?”
You might need a break, some comforting words from a friend, time in nature, or a hot bath. Experiment with new ways to comfort and care for yourself. This might include journaling, meditating, exercising, listening to music, making art, or playing with a pet.
Different strategies will work at different times.
Have self-compassion as you learn new ways to cope.
Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can and that it’s okay to not be perfect. Beating yourself up will only make the process harder.
Embrace Your Values
Lastly, get clear on your underlying values and what really matters to you in life.
Is it having fulfilling relationships? Pursuing meaningful work? Expressing creativity? Contributing to your community? When you’re connected to a sense of deeper purpose, temporary discomfort becomes more bearable.
The process of untangling emotional eating is not always easy, but it is so worth it.
The more you practice allowing feelings and choosing new behaviors in line with your values, the more automatic it will become. You have the capacity to experience the full range of human emotions without getting stuck in unhealthy patterns.
Food can return to its proper place as nourishment and pleasure, rather than a way to numb out.
With patience and persistence, you can develop a healthy relationship with both food and feelings.
Remind yourself that every moment is a new opportunity to begin again. Each time you ride out a craving or choose a nourishing coping strategy, you’re reinforcing a new habit.
Reach Out for Support
Overcoming emotional eating is often easier with support.
Consider reaching out to a coach who can guide you in developing new coping skills and processing underlying issues that may be contributing to emotional eating. Sharing your struggles with trusted friends and family can also provide accountability and encouragement.
Remember that setbacks are a normal part of the process.
There will be times when you do end up overeating in response to emotions. When this happens, treat yourself with compassion rather than judgment. Gently redirect yourself back to your goals and values.
Celebrate Your Successes
As you start to overcome emotional eating, take time to acknowledge your hard work.
Celebrate the moments when you’re able to tolerate difficult emotions without turning to food. Notice how much more in control and empowered you feel. Appreciate the new ways you’re learning to take care of yourself.
Keep in mind that the goal is not to eliminate emotional eating entirely.
It’s unrealistic to never use food for comfort. The aim is to develop a more conscious, balanced relationship with food and emotions. You want to be able to choose food when you’re physically hungry and have other tools to deal with stress and difficult feelings.
With commitment and self-compassion, you can gradually transform your relationship with food and emotions.
You can learn to nourish yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Food can take its proper place as just one source of pleasure and sustenance in a rich, fulfilling life.
Uncomfortable emotions can become more tolerable and less likely to trigger overeating.
Putting it Into Practice
In summary, here are the key steps to overcoming emotional eating:
1. Notice your emotional eating triggers without judgment
2. Allow difficult emotions to be present without fighting them or acting on urges to eat
3. Build new coping strategies that don’t involve food
4. Connect to your deeper values and what matters most to you
5. Reach out for support when needed
6. Celebrate your successes along the way
Pick one small step to put into practice today.
Maybe it’s pausing to journal the next time you feel the urge to eat when you’re not hungry. Or exploring a new activity to comfort yourself instead of reaching for food.
Remember, change happens one choice at a time.
With practice, self-compassion, and support, a more peaceful relationship with food and emotions is possible.
You have the capacity to handle difficult feelings without using food to numb out.
Emotional eating doesn’t have to control you.
Lasting change is achievable, one day at a time.