Welcome back to another episode of Weight Loss Mindset!
Last week I told you something controversial – to stop trying to lose weight and focus on gaining control instead. And wow, the response has been incredible. So many of you reached out saying this completely shifted your perspective.
But today, I want to go deeper. I want to explain exactly WHY the traditional approach keeps failing you. You’re not broken, you don’t lack willpower, and you’re not doing anything wrong.
Everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – is approaching weight loss completely backwards. They’re focusing on the wrong thing entirely.
Today I’m going to expose the biggest misconception about weight loss that keeps 95% of people stuck in the same cycle forever. And once you understand this, everything is going to click into place.
Are you ready to see what everyone else is missing?
The misconception
Here’s the massive misconception that’s keeping everyone stuck:
People focus on controlling their body when they need to understand their mind.
When most people want to lose weight, where do they focus? On their body. They focus on calories in, calories out. They focus on meal plans and workout schedules. They focus on controlling portions and eliminating “bad” foods.
And this sounds logical, right? If you want to change your body, focus on your body.
But your body responds to signals from your mind.
Think about it. When you emotionally eat, is your body telling you to eat? No. Your mind is. When you binge on foods you’ve restricted, is your body driving that behavior? No. Your mind is rebelling against the restrictions you’ve placed on yourself.
When you eat when you’re not hungry, when you eat past fullness, when you can’t stop thinking about food – none of that is coming from your body. Your mind drives all of it.
Your relationship with food reflects your relationship with your emotions, your stress, your self-worth, your beliefs about yourself. We keep trying to control the body that’s just following orders.
You can clean a computer screen all day long, but if the software is corrupted, nothing changes.
This explains why people can follow a perfect meal plan for weeks, lose some weight, and then suddenly find themselves back where they started. They never addressed the mind that was driving the behaviors in the first place.
Why this fails
So why does this body-focused approach fail so spectacularly? Let me break down exactly what happens:
Failure Point #1: They obsess over calories instead of triggers
People will count every single calorie, but they have no idea why they overeat at 9 PM every night. They’ll track their macros perfectly, but they can’t tell you what emotions drive them to the kitchen when they’re not hungry.
You can control calories all day long, but if you don’t understand what’s triggering your emotional eating, you’re just putting a band-aid on a broken pipe. Eventually, that trigger is going to overwhelm your willpower, and you’ll be right back where you started.
Failure Point #2: They try to eliminate cravings instead of managing them
Here’s what most people think: “If I just have enough willpower, I won’t crave these foods anymore.” So they try to white-knuckle their way through cravings, thinking they should just disappear.
Cravings are normal. They’re part of being human. The goal is to learn how to feel them without automatically acting on them. When you try to eliminate cravings through restriction, you actually make them stronger. You create the forbidden fruit effect.
Failure Point #3: They aim for perfection instead of progress
The body-focused approach creates this all-or-nothing mentality. You’re either “on” the diet or you’re “off” it. You’re either being “good” with food or you’re being “bad.”
So when they have one imperfect meal – which is inevitable – their mind says, “Well, I’ve already ruined it, might as well keep going.” One cookie becomes ten cookies. One “bad” day becomes a “bad” week.
There is no perfect. There’s only progress. And progress happens in your mind first, then shows up in your behaviors.
Failure Point #4: They change behaviors without changing beliefs
This is the big one. People will follow meal plans while still believing they’re “addicted to food.” They’ll do workouts while still believing they have “no willpower.” They’ll try to eat healthy while still believing they’re “someone who struggles with weight.”
Your behaviors will always align with your beliefs about yourself. If you believe you’re someone who can’t control themselves around food, guess what? You’ll find ways to prove that belief right, even when you’re consciously trying to change.
You can’t out-behavior a limiting belief. The belief will always win.
What actually works
So what’s the right approach? Focus on understanding and changing your mind first.
Count less, identify more. When do you eat when you’re not hungry? What emotions send you to the kitchen? What situations make you lose control around food? This is the real data you need.
Learn to manage cravings. Practice feeling a craving without acting on it. Understand that cravings are temporary – they peak and then they pass. Build the skill of sitting with discomfort without immediately trying to fix it with food.
Focus on progress. Celebrate every time you pause before eating. Celebrate every time you eat when hungry instead of when bored. Celebrate every time you speak to yourself with kindness instead of criticism.
Change your beliefs. Start seeing yourself as someone who’s learning to nourish their body well. Start believing that you can trust yourself around food. Start identifying as someone who handles emotions without turning to food.
When you change your mind first, your body follows naturally. When you understand your triggers, you can address them. When you manage cravings instead of fighting them, they lose their power over you. When you focus on progress over perfection, you build momentum instead of shame.
This is why my most successful clients rarely talk about food. We spend most of our time talking about thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and patterns. That’s where the real transformation happens.
Action steps
Here’s what I want you to do this week:
Stop focusing on what you’re eating and start focusing on WHY you’re eating. Before every meal or snack, ask yourself: “Am I eating because I’m hungry, or am I eating because I’m feeling something?”
That’s it. Don’t try to change what you eat yet. Just start understanding the difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger. Start building awareness of your mind’s patterns.
Because once you understand your mind, changing your body becomes inevitable.
You’ve got this, and I’m here supporting you every step of the way.
I’ll talk to you soon!
“Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, please drop a quick review on Apple or Spotify—it really helps me to spread the word. Share the podcast with a friend or on social media if you think it could help someone you know. For links, resources, and free downloads, check the show notes or visit weightlossmindset.co. And don’t forget to join my newsletter to get updates on upcoming courses and tools to support your journey.”